A Great Dad knows that Connection is a Greater Force than Fear

A considerable amount of my childhood was lived under a dark cloud of fear. The threat of severe punishment was the motivator for all behaviours… A perfect environment for anxiety to thrive…

Dear Dad, respect and fear cannot live under the same roof…

Often, when I meet with parents, fathers will comment about their children, “Well, they listen to me when I talk.” Dads, do they listen out of love and respect, which has been built because of a deep connection, or do they listen out of the fear of the threat of severe punishment or the fear of shame…?

When you have a meaningful connection with your child, when you take time to know them, to understand them, you will know that in their darkest hours, in their most impossible moments, what they need most is connection. How powerful to have a father who can reach down when a child is in turmoil, and connect with them in the vulnerable space they are in. It is connection, not fear, that has the greatest power to change our children’s behaviour. By connecting first, and allowing our children to feel understood, they will be far more willing to be guided by us- a parent they trust, a parent they respect. Children who live in fear, cannot live in happiness- the two cannot dwell side by side.

If fear and threat-based parenting is your norm, know that your child is crying out for a deeper relationship with you. This manner of parenting is often a result of our own high stress levels, feelings of a lack of control, and a dearth of an intimate relationship with our child.

There is no greater earthly power than that of human connection… There is no more profound feeling of being loved as when we feel completely understood and accepted by another…

May you be a Dad whose children know home as a happy fortress…

May you be a Dad whose children thrive in the absence of fear…

May you be a Great Dad who knows the true power of connection…

Have a fabulous Friday.

#fabfatherfridays
#connectionisagreaterforcethanfear
#wherefearishappinessisnot
#naomiholdtspeaker

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